Coffee Nirvana

Many of us from India would have travelled around the world, thanks to the IT industry(simply put Computer Programming). Being a geek, rather an ex-geek,  I have clocked many air miles in different airlines, all in economy of course.

There have been some great experiences and some not so great ones. My list of ‘Murphy’s laws’ on Air Travel – is what I call the troublesome, awful or ‘Oh my God’  moments; would love to exchange notes if you have had the same feeling or you would add to this list.

1. You are late for the flight and your suitcase handle gives way.

You’ll be lucky if you find a friend or a fellow passenger to help you with the suitcase until the cargo belt. Else it’s      quite an exercise.

2. Getting the last seat in the Airplane.

You might be the first to be served, but remember you’ll also be sitting next to the toilet door that’s being swung  open approximately every 15 minutes and continuously after meals. Ugghh. Worse, the person in front of you swings back his seat to sleep and you can’t do the same since yours is the last seat!

3. Your incoming flight to the transit airport has been an hour late. You have get a boarding pass for a connecting flight.

You are standing in a long queue behind six footers, vainly trying to get the over worked staff’s attention that you incoming flight was late and the connecting flight leaves in 15 minutes!

4. Touring a city on transit visa. You reach the airport an hour before the plane leaves.

This happened to me at Bangkok. Just as we entered and took our boarding passes, I noticed that the Airline had advanced their time by an hour, which meant I had to rush to the boarding gate!

5. Sitting in front of a family of boisterous kids.

The parents are fed up. The children restless and you are kick boxed whenever they are restless. Happens everytime I fly Air India.

6. Sitting on the aisle side, next to a passenger who loves his drink.

This means he/she visits the toilet often. This means you have to get up and give room every time they have to go.

7. Talking to the Airport Staff in a non-English speaking country in English

Yes, English might be the most widely spoken language, but trying to understand whether whatever the Thai staff tells you is a question or a statement requires some practice. Same with the German Staff. Even their gentlest statement feels as if they are scolding ‘you brown Asian who took away my son’s job’. In Paris, don’t ever speak in English. At Heathrow, if you have to talk to a staff person who’s from up North or a Scot, you’ll wonder if what you learnt back home was indeed the same language!

8. Sitting next to a moony couple in the middle row with a hefty uncle who takes two seats on the other side.

You can’t budge. You can’t squirm. You have to listen to all that talk & other stuff. Worse, when you want to make that visit to the toilet, the uncle would be snoring on the other end and you don’t want to disturb the busy couple.

9. Your preference of Vegetarian is goofed up. Vegetarian spans across Fish, Egg, garlic based food, vegan, Indian etc.

The stewardess is usually helpful. She gives you some fruit, juice or a veg dish that she has somehow bargained with another passenger who doesn’t mind an occasional fish.

10. It’s a busy flight, you get the boarding pass in the last minute and after a really long flight, you find your cargo missing.

This happened on my first return flight back home. Get the form; explain to the staff and think of all the stuff that was in the suitcases can be quite draining, especially if you have to take one more domestic flight to head home. Also, it’ll be an agonising wait until it’s found and redirected.

Not all experiences have been bad. My next post will be the ten best things that happened to me during air travel.